


in for a Penny in for a pound

by SomehowSleepy



Series: The 7 Maidens [2]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High
Genre: Angst, Dry heaving, Gen, I hate hurting Penny but she went through Some Shit y'all, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, supportive parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 04:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21350083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomehowSleepy/pseuds/SomehowSleepy
Summary: Sometimes Penny still feels trapped. At home in her bed tucked in nice and warm, she feels a pressure come down on her from all sides and suddenly she’s uncanny dodged her way out of bed and across the room.A look into how being trapped in a palimpsest for over a year affects one's mental health.
Series: The 7 Maidens [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1539136
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	in for a Penny in for a pound

**Author's Note:**

> Penny Luckstone doesn't deserve this!! But I wrote it anyway because even when she was still in the palimpsest thinking she was about to die she was trying to COMFORT RIZ!! I mean we do stan a great and supportive friend but you can't tell me she's not traumatized over being held captive for so long.
> 
> cw/tw for panic attacks, feeling trapped, being controlled against your will, and dry heaving
> 
> If I missed anything please let me know and I'll update the list!!

Sometimes Penny still feels trapped. At home in her bed tucked in nice and warm, she feels a pressure come down on her from all sides and suddenly she’s uncanny dodged her way out of bed and across the room. When her back hits the wall she doesn’t really mean to jump out of her bedroom window and into the back yard but slow thinking is what got her in this mess in the first place… _Wait what mess?_ When her bare feet touch the cool grass and the crisp air of the night reaches her lungs Penny takes a look around. She’s at home, next to her mother’s flower garden, outside… Not trapped in a palimpsest or arcade game, not chained up in a cave somewhere with six other scared girls putting on a brave face while desperately trying to pick the locks on her cuffs at an awkward angle without any of her tools. Penny breaths deep, focusing on the feel of the damp grass against the soles of her feet and the distinct smell of the air during cool spring nights. When she shifts her weight she can feel her feet sink into the soil just a bit. In the palimpsest it was all hard floors with no give, cold white with an eerie almost glow all around, not just the floors but the walls and the ceiling and she could practically feel them closing in on her, smaller and smaller until eventually she’d be crushed. Inhaling sharply Penny opens her eyes and starts pacing and taking note of things around her.

“Grey, the birdbath is grey. It’s made up of cylinders and circles. Yellow gardening gloves by the blue watering can where mom left them this afternoon, cylinders and squares, also circles.” She’s muttering to herself and if her parents woke up and found her outside like this, they’d share one of those looks she hated. A look that’s not quite pitying but almost there, like they’re trying to hide it from her, how could they hide it from her, she has such high perception skill check. Then it’d morph into that worried expression, the same one they shared when Penny told them she wanted to go to Aguefort, the one that looked like there was a high chance they could lose their daughter if they hadn’t _already_ lost her. But they were wrong, Penny was fine, she was fine her first year at Aguefort, aced her rogue classes despite being the loudest, and cheeriest in the class! She didn’t even have a tragic backstory like most of her rogue classmates, no sir, Penny had a loving family complete with supportive parents, good friends, granted most of her friends her age ended up going to Mumple or Hudol, and some would say Riz didn’t count as a friend because she was his babysitter, but she’d beg to differ! Riz was her friend and he was a great friend!! He had told Penny all about his resolve to find her as soon as she went missing, and he’d never given up!! He worked for at least a year to find Penny when she was trapped in the palimpsest… A whole year… Maybe longer.  
There was no sense of time in the Palimpsest, and there was no way she could even try to keep time. She was never tired or hungry or _anything_ when she was trapped. It was like the crystal kept her at a perpetual state of mediocre fulfillment. They never tortured her, but in a way the loneliness was torture enough. She had a big family, aunts and uncles and cousins who’d she see every weekend if not a few times a week and suddenly being cut off from them, and all her friends… They couldn’t have been more cruel if they’d tried. It lasted so long that when she was plugged into the arcade game she almost cried out of sheer relief of knowing she wasn’t completely alone, before something seemed to force her to move and start collecting coins in the cold dark background of a retro video game. Sometimes she can still feel the tingling sensation of when she fought against the invisible force, sometimes she can still hear the sound of her own voice offering Riz a cheery “better luck next time” against her will, sometimes when she closes her eyes Penny can still see the terrified and confused face of Riz as he’s uploaded into a palimpsest. 

Gasping Penny stops her pacing and doubles over, breathing hard eyes shut tight. She feels tears running down her face, snot dripping from her nose, she’s tensed so tight she’s trembling. Penny forces her eyes wide open, keeping them closed would just mean more memories and she can’t deal with that right now. Not now, not while her lungs are burning choking back sobs, and her pajama shirt is sticking to her sweaty back, and she tries to stand perfectly still because she’s pretty sure if she moves her dinner is going to find its way out onto the grass. She hates it, hates that she didn’t even realize she was getting this distressed, hates that she even still gets this distressed after all this time, hates that any of this is even happening to her, so she stands there. Chest heaving in silent sobs, salty tears trailing down her cheeks and chin stopping at the already sweat damp collar of her shirt, off balance and feeling like she’s going to throw up any moment. She falls to her knees wrapping her stiff arms around herself. She starts to mumble small comforts quietly to herself.

“I’m not alone, mom and dad are sleeping inside, the other maidens are safe at home, the Bad Kidz too, Riz…” she manages a small pitiful chuckle that turns into a shaky sob, “Riz is probably awake, at his new office, working on something new just a call or text awa-” Suddenly she’s dry heaving on the lawn, just the thought of grabbing her crystal enough to send her over the edge. Her stomach flips, her throat burns, but nothing comes out, she’s just intermittently sobbing and dry heaving on the floor, lowering her forehead so it’s against the dirt. She doesn’t know how long she’s lying there before she hears a door opening and the soft footsteps of her parents. Her father stops in the doorway but her mother kneels beside her silently. Penny lets herself fall sideways into her mother’s lap, a sign that she can handle being touched, and needs the physical comfort. Her mom smooths her hands over Penny’s auburn hair still silent as Penny continues to shake and cry.  


“Mom…” it’s hardly discernible through the tears and trembling but it’s Penny’s voice. Wrecked, terrified, strained, and nothing like the optimistic version of herself in the arcade game. “Mom I wanna go home” it’s nonsense, she _knows_ it’s nonsense. Penny’s laying in her own backyard maybe a yard away from where her father watches ready and waiting for Penny to be ready to come back inside. “I wanna go home _please_. I just wanna go home.” her eyes are closed again, but the combination of her mother’s soothing touch and the feel of the dewy grass seeping through her thin pajamas is enough to keep her mind from wandering too far, “I want to go home.” her voice, still trembling, is louder this time. So is her sobbing, “JUST LET ME GO HOME!” her scream sounds like it’s torn out of her throat, there’s no echo, not like in the palimpsest. Her mother shushes her gently and Penny can feel the hand petting her head shake. “Please let me go, I want to go home, I wanna go home, please, please, please, please…” She knows her mom wasn’t telling her to be quiet but as she curls up into herself she can’t muster up any volume above a desperate whisper. Her mother gathers Penny up in her arms, helping her to a position where they’re half sitting, half kneeling, and she rocks them back and forth. Penny keeps quietly mumbling pleas to go home and apologies for whatever she did to get her locked up, and her mother just rocks them, quietly interjecting gentle shushes and cooing whenever Penny seems like she’s working herself up again. Who knows how long they stay in the garden like that, but eventually Penny silently pulls away from her mother letting her stand before taking the offered hand and standing up too. Penny’s mom wraps an arm around her as she leads her back inside. When they reach the door Penny’s dad smiles weakly and wraps both his daughter and his wife into a warm embrace. Penny hardly registers walking back up the stairs, but she does notice when her dad walks ahead into her room and pockets something lying on Penny’s bedside table. She wants to smile up weakly at her dad but she still feels like she’s moving through molasses so she just lets her mother lead her into bed and pull the sheets over her, making sure to move the heavy comforter to the side of her bed, and to pull the sheets out from where their tucked around the mattress. Her parents each kiss her forehead gently and wish her a good night. Penny’s notices they don’t close her door all the way and know they’ll be staying up the rest of the night waiting for any sign that Penny needs them again. She hates that she makes them worry so much, but she’s grateful that they’re making an effort to understand now, she makes a mental note to contact Jawbone in the morning. He’d requested updates on these types of things and had assured her that just because spring break was about to start didn’t mean she should stop taking care of her mental health. Absolutely exhausted Penny sets those thoughts aside for later, takes a deep breath, pulls the thin sheet up to her chin, and tries to drift off into a hopefully dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Oof. As someone with PTSD I think it's super hard to capture the actual panic and disorientation of having a flashback and how quickly you can get triggered into one even if you're on the verge of calming yourself down so I hope I managed to do it justice.  
Comments and Kudos appreciated


End file.
